Put on a Happy Face

So, for all of those uptight types who get easily offended here (yes I'm kidding, I really don't think too many of you are uptight, just some hahahaha), remember, we are all family and most of the jesting is done in fun and with a smile on our face, so put on a happy face too.

You can't read this and stay in a bad mood!

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique up on it.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through the Forest ?
They Take the Psychopath

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil the Hell out of It

5. What Do Fish Say when They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get from Sitting on the Ice too long?

Polaroids

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?

Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. W hat Do You Call Four Bullfighters in Quicksand?
Quatro Cinco.

11. What Do You Get from a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get when You Cross a Snowman with a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies at the Bottom of the Ocean and Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's the Difference Between Roast Beef and Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog with no Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like to Sky Dive?
Because it Scares the Dog.

18. What Kind of Coffee Was Served on the Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is the Difference Between a Harley and a Hoover ?!
The Location of the Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles on Their Hats.

21. What's the Difference Between a Bad Golfer and a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack , Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are a Texas Tornado and a Tennessee Divorce the Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose a Trailer

Now, admit it . . at least one of these made you smile!!

Here's another

HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER

You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one...

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate,
Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more
curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met
the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.'

About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy
ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?'

Brian said, 'Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote:

__________________________________________________________

Dear Mom,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Brian
__________________________________________________________

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:
____________________________________________________

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom

LESSON OF THE DAY - NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

Baptism

Alyssa and Kaylee are going to be baptized on the 7th of February. Don't know the time yet. Will update when I know.

Family Vacation Revisited

I am thinking instead of RedFish we should look at going to McCoy creek. We could water ski on Palisades, fish the salmon fly hatch on the SF and fish Bear Creek, and hit the big water in early July on the Alpine. Those of you who don't want to camp could get a hotel room or a cabin in Alpine.

Happy Birthday Pris!

Happy Birthday Priscilla on Saturday!!! I think I missed her and Amanda in the newsletter, just so you all know that her b-day is coming.

Extra Help Requested

So, this Sunday is fast Sunday and if you don't have anything in PARICULAR you would like to fast for, I am asking you to fast for Brett that he will do well on the LSAT. There you have it.

Decisions, decisions

So we spent a week in Sunny Miami! While all (or almost all of you) were languishing about in the Idaho cold, we were happy and playing on the beach and in the ocean (a tad cool).

















Ivana liked Miami a lot. Said she wants to move there........

So speaking of moving. Yesterday I get a call from an agent neighbor of mine who wants to show me a house. Turns out to be a 6000 square foot 9 bedroom 6 bathroom home in an upscale neighborhood of Idaho Falls on an almost acre lot. It is nice, not super fancy, but does have a lot of nice features. Like a slide from the kitchen to one of the downstairs bedrooms, hardwood floor in the entry, tile in the kitchen, full intercom and alarm system. The kicker is it is a foreclosure sale discounted from $450,000 to $265,000. Ivana really liked it but I am not sure I can afford it, plus the market is really soft so I am not sure what I would do with our house here.

Facebook Weak Link

So, I sent a few of you a thread, that apparently is not true. I don't care to check a lot of things out, if I don't think it hurts anyone. So, I didn't check it out on snopes but apparently it wasn't true, which I didn't think it could be anyway. Love ya all.

Foregivenss, Chris?

Last week, I labeled members of the Mormon church who supported California's Proposition 8 as "un-American." I believe Proposition 8 is counter to the promise of our Constitution; it is codified discrimination. But everyone has a right to vote their conscience — nothing could be more American. To say members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints who contributed to Proposition 8 are "un-American" creates more division when the time calls for respectful disagreement. No one should use "un- American" lightly or in haste. I did. I should not have. Sincerely, Tom Hanks”

Leave it to the Dutch to start the problems

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,481110,00.html

Check the link and you will see why.

So, now what?

It sounds like the second week of July will work best. So, now what? What do we want to do? Hang out at the house, plan outings, go somewhere. Maybe we should go camping. Redfish anyone? Suggestions please...

Horrible Children

I have decided that my two oldest children are no longer eligible for Birthday or Christmas gifts. After months of planning and discussion to have them come visit me in Beijing, only to hear reason after reason as to why they can no longer make it. So if they don't want to spend time with me no more reward for them.

Are You Going to Finish Strong?

Family Gatherings

Just an FYI, if there are any upcoming family events, could you please let use know at least a month in advance? I have to work most Saturday's and appreciate the heads up. We like to be able to do things with you all, but with school and work, we need a little extra notice to be able to plan for it. For instance, I know that there are some baptism coming up, so if you could let us know as to when, that would be great. Thanks.

Here is a complaint

So, I posted the same concept as BS and the Kids and no one even commented, but with her's yod did. Just a complaint.

July?

Talked with mom and dad today. Yes, they are alive, doing well, have hot water and heat and are just plugging along. So, mom thinks there release date will be no later than July 7 if not sooner. So, based on that, we can try and plan for some sort of reunion in July unless anyone has any objections. Those who have to travel far, aka airplane...let us know what is best for you.

Mom and Dad's great return.

I know that this is early, but we need to start making plans for the GP's home coming. Six months will go by very quickly and with all that is going on we need to see what we are going to do. Should we have the family reunion the week they return? Any ideas? Thanks.

What a Boring Family

Since no one has posted anything for a couple of weeks, I'll fill you in on my day. Got up at 9:15, cleaned up a little, hit the gym for an hour, purchased new wall hangings for my bedroom, cleaned up more at home, went to Wal-Mart and purchased a whole bunch of canned goods etc for food storage (you should've seen the strange looks we were getting at Sam's club a few weeks ago coming out with 90 gallons of H20), came home and spent some time on the computer, went to see ValKyrie with Wade (very good movie...it will always take good men/women standing up to evil to make a difference, remember this when the scheisse starts to hit the fan soon in our country and world), and talked Wade into getting a 46" LCD TV for our front room. Of course I had to promise him some favors in return, but hey, I'm not above pimping myself out to get things I want.