A Letter to my Neighbors

Here is a letter to my neighbors. Let me know what you think of it in general and if I should change the language of anything. If you don't know the situation then don't comment unless you feel enlightened.

Mrs Grutman:

I am writing this letter instead of talking to you face to face in an attempt to keep tempers under control. I want your harassing phone calls, messages, and yelling at my children to stop.

I have no doubt that you can hear us when we are home as we can hear EVERYTHING that you do upstairs. I can hear your cats jumping off of furniture and playing, we hear snoring from your bedroom at night, we hear every step you take, every time you flush the toilet, speaking, etc. It is not my problem that you have made a choice to live in a multi-family dwelling and on top of that one that not only is loud in general but seems to amplify every sound made. If one was to listen to you they would suppose that we do nothing but stomp around and yell and slam doors all day and night. This is completely untrue. There are three times as many of us that live here as there are of you upstairs. Mathematically that would mean we make three times as much noise as you do. You are complaining about every day living noises that I have no control over. Toys get dropped, kids sometimes don’t get along, chairs get pushed over or slid along the floor, things fall off of the bed, kids wait until the last minute to use the restroom and have to make a dash for it. This is all daily living noise and again, I have no control over that. Yes, occasionally my kids run in their home. Get over it. It is their home just as much as it is your and they can play in it and if I were a rude and uncaring neighbor I would let them run all of the time. As it stands, if someone runs I remind them to walk next time. Yes, occasionally a door gets slammed. Generally this is by the 2 year old who doesn’t know better. At best it happens once a day. Again, get over it. These things are your problem, not mine and I have done everything I am willing to do to accommodate you. I am not going to yell at my children or get onto them for playing and living in their own home just to make you happy at their expense.

Ironically, you tend to complain the most when we have been home the least. We have been so busy that we have been gone more than we have been home recently, and yet you still complain. If it was just my family that you have complained about I would be more sympathetic. But, as it is, you have complained about several of your neighbors including calling the police several times on the next door neighbors. What you fail to comprehend is that you are the one who has the problem. You complain about everyone around you, but no one else is complaining about them. No one is breaking the law. We are quiet after 10:00pm and are only up before 8:00am during the week when the kids have school. You live in a multi-family dwelling and therefore, between the hours of 8am-10pm you should expect to hear some noise from your neighbors.

You can vilify my family all you want. You are so totally unconnected to me that I just don’t care. We have continued to be polite and tried to keep the noise to a minimum. At first we were so concerned about your complaints that we took drastic steps in the house to try and keep you satisfied, but to no avail. Still, you complain and we were making ourselves and our children miserable. After speaking with the landlords we realized that this is our home too, and we need to feel comfortable and be able to live in our home as we see fit without worrying about a neighbor who is in your own words “sensitive to noise.” It still baffles me as to why you would live in a multi-family dwelling when you are so unable to cope with the sounds your neighbors make, not only in the same building as you but also next door.

As to your son coming home from school, again, I just don’t care. I am not subjecting him to anything and if you think he is more exhausted than my husband who works 12-15 hours a day on average, then comes home and has to listen to the noise your family makes over our heads, you are quite mistaken. We hear everything you do, including putting your shoes on first thing in the morning when you get up, and clomping around in them. Your noise level has increased drastically over the months, and we can only assume it is in an attempt to “get even” or make us uncomfortable. We haven’t complained about this, or said anything about it. We understand that we are living in a multi-family dwelling and we expect that we will hear some noise from who ever lives above us. We however, have done nothing of the sort and have continued to try and be polite and accommodate you to a reasonable level. We have put off saying anything in response to your complaints in an effort to keep the peace, but enough is enough. I want you to stop harassing me, stop leaving me messages on my door, and above all stop yelling at my children. If you have a problem with something they are doing you can come down and talk to me, but you will not yell at them. They have every right to be in the back yard playing. If you don’t like it shut your window, or go sit in your front room so you don’t have to hear them. I would also suggest you invest in some earplugs, or move into a quiet retirement community, or better yet, a single family dwelling where you share no walls or ceilings/floors with anyone.

We will be moving shortly and while I would never wish anyone ill, I can only hope that the next tenants here are the sort that really don’t care about your wishes, play loud music during all hours of the day and night, have wild parties with their friends late into the evening, play the drums or are in a band, etc. You get the point. I have mailed a copy of this letter to our landlords to keep them abreast of the situation.